


Cheater Cheater

by thinkpink



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Biology, Fluff, Other, Short & Sweet, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkpink/pseuds/thinkpink
Summary: Zim willneveradmit defeat to Dib.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	Cheater Cheater

**Author's Note:**

> i have so many writing projects on hold and the first thing i write in six months is alien smut. oh well, my love for these two had spanned many years, it was always going to end up here. 
> 
> enjoy :)

“You might as well give up now, Dib-thing, there is no defeating the mighty Zim!”

“Like I’d ever roll over and let you win. You’re outclassed Zim, admit it!”

“Clearly not! I _am_ winning, and I will—AHH, that damned shell!” Zim screeched, sitting up straighter, his attention back on the screen as his kart careened over the edge of rainbow road. 

Dib grinned, relaxing back against the arm of the couch as he overtook Zim in the race, a bright number one flashing next to Toad on the bottom half of the screen. 

“That’s for the banana peel, baby.” 

Zim growled, his magenta eyes flashing as his grip tightened on the controller. 

“You know you _could_ pick a better character and stop player Bowser—” 

“Bowser is superior!” Zim interjected. “He is the tallest of all the characters!”

Dib rolled his eyes, not about to get into that argument again. Zim had gotten taller since they’d met but not by much – only barely reaching Dib’s breastbone – and certainly not enough to challenge the current Irken leaders. 

“And yet Toad beats him every time,” Dib gloated, zipping past the finish line. WINNER flashed on his half of the screen.

Zim clenched his teeth, still pushing his kart to cross the finish line, not willing to surrender even if he’d already been beaten – something Dib adored about him. 

Dib dropped the controller to the floor and turned on the couch to get a better view of Zim, who sat astride Dib’s legs, feet pressed up under Dib’s ass in an attempt to keep them warm. He hissed in anger as the round finally ended, turning to Dib with narrowed eyes. 

“Again.”

“You’re just dying to lose to me some more, huh Zim?” 

“Do not pretend as if I have not won at least half—”

“ _Half_?”

“—and furthermore, you were flailing about throughout that round and I was merely trying to keep my seat _and_ play the game—”

“You could always move,” Dib offered magnanimously.

A splash of dark green suffused Zim cheeks, though he ground down against Dib’s legs to show his displeasure at the thought of moving. Warmth emanated from between his legs, and Dib could feel it through the tight spandex of Zim’s leggings and his own jeans. 

“Just stop squirming around like a little—squirmy…thing,” Zim muttered, already flicking through the start-up screen. 

Dib grinned, settling more firmly on Zim’s cold little feet under his ass. “Rainbow road again?” 

“I will master this!” He shouted, voice echoing in the mostly empty living room. 

“I belieeeeve in youuu!” GIR’s shrill voice called from the kitchen. He’d been banging around in there for hours and Dib and Zim had both agreed not to worry about it too much, as there was only so much trouble GIR could get up to in the home base. 

The countdown to the race chirped on Zim’s massive tv, and Dib pushed his glasses more firmly up his nose before picking the controller back up. He had the home advantage even if this wasn’t really his house – he’d grown up playing this game, and nobody lost to Gaz as many times as he had without learning _something._ But Zim was a quick study, and he held his own well enough that Dib had to really pay attention if he wanted to win. 

“Prepare to lose, human boy.” Zim was clearly trying to insult him, but somewhere over the years, the epithets had lost the true anger he’d once possessed and become soft, like nicknames. 

“You’re so on.” 

Zipping past NPC’s and various hazards, Dib took the lead easily, finishing the first lap in first place. 

Almost too easy…

Zim’s kart was a few characters behind, and it seemed almost as if he weren’t trying, merely following the track carefully. 

“Giving up?” Dib asked, never taking his eyes from the screen. 

Zim hummed low in response and wriggled around on the couch, scooting further up Dib’s legs until he was straddling his thighs. Zim’s attention never wavered from his sedate path along rainbow road. 

Dib threw him a questioning look before turning back to the game. 

Zim regained ground until he was only two players behind Dib. Still he didn’t seem to be pushing as hard as he had been all day. He wasn’t cursing or shrieking angrily, the tip of his tongue wasn’t poking out in determination. 

Suddenly, Zim was right behind him, the number two right next to Bowser’s half of the screen. With the pressure on, Dib attempted to give his full attention to the game. He only needed to keep his lead for one more lap and he would win. 

From the corner of his eye, Dib saw Zim move again, his feet slipping out from under Dib’s bottom as he slid over Dib’s lap. It almost seemed like an accident. Like Zim didn’t realize what he was doing. 

And it might have been true – Zim ran cold, especially without his insulated socks and gloves. He was forever sticking his feet under Dib’s thighs or pressing his icy fingers to the small of Dib’s back under his tee-shirt. Dib had gotten used to being used as a personal space heater. 

But this wasn’t unconscious heat-seeking. There was one place that Zim _radiated_ heat, and he was currently grinding it down into Dib’s crotch. Purposefully. 

“What are you—” 

“Pay attention to the race, Dib-thing.” Zim’s voice was calm and cool – unheard of when he was trying to win. 

Dib swallowed and tried to do as Zim said. It was hard, with Zim’s molten core grinding against his dick, which was perking up in interest. Somehow though, he was maintaining his lead. 

He was just beginning to think Zim _was_ just trying to get more comfortable, using Dib’s lap as a chair, when he began to _purr._

It wasn’t a purr, Zim insisted. But there was no other way for Dib to describe it. It resonated from deep in his chest, a soft vibration that was even louder when his mouth was open. It wasn’t particularly sexy except that there was only one reason Zim ever made that noise, and Dib’s brain had become hard wired to react. 

Like Pavlov’s dog, his dick was hard and straining against the zipper of his jeans. 

“Zim—” Dib was panting. Immediately. 

But Zim didn’t even look at him, never taking his eyes off the screen. Still purring, he pressed his crotch against Dib’s erection, rolling his hips like a wave. 

As Dib looked on, Bowser overtook Toad, crossing the finish line in first place with only pixels between them.

Zim had no time to gloat before Dib was launching himself at the Irken, throwing them both onto the floor. Their controllers skidded across the tiles, but Dib could barely hear it over Zim’s unbridled laughter. 

“Cheater!” Dib crowed, wrestling to get the upper hand. It had stopped being a fair fight years ago – as long as Zim didn’t utilize his spidery PAK legs – and it took almost no effort to circle Zim’s wrists and press his hands to the floor above his head. 

Then again, Zim wasn’t fighting him very hard. 

“There are no cheaters, only winners,” Zim was still laughing but it was less triumphant and more content. His legs wound around Dib’s hips, tiny feet hooked together at the small of his back. 

“Sounds like something a cheater would say,” Dib huffed, pressing his still hard dick into the juncture of Zim’s thighs. 

Zim grinned, just a touch of triumph in his eyes. “Sorry you are pathetically easy to manipulate, Dib-thing. If only humans had evolved past their obsessive needs to bree—” 

Dib cut the overused retort off with his mouth. There was no use arguing that Zim was just as interested in sexual relations despite his race’s supposed genetic engineering to do away with them. Irken’s didn’t need to have sex to procreate, but Zim’s body and its response to sexual stimuli said more than enough. 

Kissing Zim should have been weird – Gaz had expressed that to him enough times – but as Dib has never kissed anyone else, he couldn’t say. Zim’s mouth was warm and wet, like his own, but his tongue was longer and more dexterous. Dib often found himself chasing it, trying to pull it into his own mouth. It felt good there.

It also felt good wrapped around his dick, squeezing like a vice. 

Much like his legs were doing to Dib’s hips, pulling him harder against the intense heat. 

Zim pulled his mouth away with a wet pop, licking at his own thin lips, his ruby eyes shining. 

“Take my pants off, pathetic human.”

Dib didn’t spare a moment to feign insult, scrambling backward to give himself enough room to slide Zim’s leggings down. 

Zim’s thighs were thin but toned, the same emerald green as the rest of his body, and they spread to reveal a soft magenta slit, gleaming with slick. Leaning down, Dib could feel the heat of him on his face without even touching. 

Confident fingers brushed along the Zim’s opening, sliding through wetness, pressing firmly as they felt his outer lips swell with blood. Spreading his fingers into a V, Dib pried him open further, revealing soft, velvety inner folds, wet with Zim’s excitement. 

Once, Dib had held Zim open like this for hours, asking him questions about his anatomy, sketching and labeling it all in his notebook. Zim had been surprisingly patient, though he had little information to give, as sexual education had not been taught on Irk for millennia. He had let Dib press his fingers as far as he could, until almost his entire hand had been inside, and Dib could feel what Zim described as ‘similar to that thing between your legs.’ 

“Can it…come out?” Dib had asked, cheeks flushing a little despite himself. He’d pressed his hand even deeper, the rim of Zim’s opening stretched taut around his palm. 

“If there was a need, I suppose,” Zim had shrugged. “A receptive partner, I guess.”

The flush on Dib’s cheeks had spread down his chest as he thought about how _receptive_ he could be, but he hadn’t said anything else on the subject. 

In the end, labeling Zim’s anatomy had hardly been necessary – as Zim had impressed on him when offered the chance to learn about Dib’s own. 

“Why do I care why it does what it does, as long as it does it?”

Dib had not been able to argue with that logic. 

“You can stare all day Dib, it isn’t going to do anything!” Zim was whining, his voice high and reedy. The sound of it snapped Dib from his reverie. 

“I dunno,” Dib taunted, pressing inside, watching shiny clear slick ooze out around his fingers as Zim shivered. “I hate to reward cheating. Seems like a bad move on my part.”

Zim huffed, shoving his entire body down to force Dib’s fingers deeper. 

Dib tsked, pulling his fingers out and holding them up so that Zim could see the string of fluid connecting the two digits. 

“Dib-thing, filthy little _human boy_ ,” Zim cajoled. “Do not deign to pretend that you are above such actions, you _wretched, miserable—_ ” 

He broke off in a gasp as Dib shoved his fingers back inside, three this time, rough and deep. 

“What was that Zim? Wretched, miserable…?” Dib grinned, rocking his fingers back and forth, spreading the slick until it was dripping down the seam of Zim’s ass. 

“Dib!” Zim growled, eyes closed. “Dib, do the thing. Just—just do the thing!”

Dib hummed, fingering the pink folds open wider still. “I’m not sure what thing you mean…”

A small gloveless hand grabbed at Dib’s hair, pushing his head lower. “ _Do_ it, do it, do it, do it…” His voice was no longer whiny, but soft and breathy, something Dib had never heard before they’d begun fooling around. There was a hint of the purr, just on the edge, and that was enough to finally spur him on. 

“Well if you’re gonna _beg,_ ” Dib said, just to annoy, before burying his mouth in Zim’s slit. 

Zim howled, letting his head drop back against the floor, as Dib slid his tongue between his fingers, licking up all the sugar sweet slick. He pulled his hand away to give himself more room, diving back in before Zim could get a breath to complain. 

Dib swore that he could feel the vibrations radiating from Zim’s chest on his tongue, and he pressed deeper inside trying to find the source. 

Four fingers twisted painfully in his messy black hair, and Dib’s glasses were digging into his face, but the sound of Zim moaning and crying like a little cat in heat was enough to overlook it. 

They didn’t know what it was about Dib’s mouth on this part of him, but Zim described it as ‘pleasure beyond any I have ever known’ so Dib didn’t question it too hard. Especially when it always ended in Zim pulling his hair until Dib was able to press their mouths together, all the while scrambling to undo his pants and free his leaking dick. 

Zim’s eyes were fever bright when Dib finally slid inside, his aching erection wrapped in liquid heat. 

“You like that, Dib-thing?” His words were garbled from the purr still rumbling in his chest. “You like being inside of Zim?”

His fingers were still wrapped in Dib’s hair, not pulling so much as they were holding him in place. Ensuring Dib couldn’t pull away just as effectively as the legs wrapped tightly around his thighs. 

Dib groaned, burying his face in Zim’s neck as he rocked his hips forward. He took pleasure in the wet squelching noises that seemed so loud in the empty room. 

“I love being inside you,” Dib confessed, sucking dark green bruises into Zim’s easily marked skin. 

Placing his elbows on either side of Zim’s head, Dib let himself fall into a rhythm, eyes closed as he listened. 

Wrapped around him like a vine, Zim shivered, gasping with every thrust. Dib couldn’t believe it sometimes, this thing between them. Two loser, outcasts whose mutual obsession turned from rivalry to begrudging companionship, before taking a hard turn towards this. 

Dib loved Zim, he was pretty sure. If it wasn’t love, it was something beyond that. Something other humans couldn’t even comprehend. An overwhelming need to know every aspect of this being, inside and out. 

He wasn’t exactly sure how Zim felt, as he found love incomprehensible, something humans said to make themselves feel special. 

But he had stopped trying to take over the world when Dib was fifteen, and he’d stopped pretending to even care about an Irken invasion a couple years later. 

Sometimes Zim tried to convince him to abandon college and flee with him to the stars, something that appealed to Dib more and more with each passing year. 

He would one day, he was pretty sure. But for now, he was content with this. With what they were doing currently.

Zim gasped, and shuddered, becoming almost unbearably tight around Dib’s dick. Warmth bloomed in Dib’s belly, pooling lower and lower. Zim could sense it, it seemed, if his teasing words whispered against Dib’s cheek were anything to go by. 

“Do it, Dib. Let go and make me even more wet.”

It was just like Zim, to expect Dib to cum on demand.

And it was just like Dib to do it, hips stuttering as he shook with his orgasm, laying heavily on Zim as he pushed his dick deep inside. 

Finally Dib stilled, resting his head against Zim’s chest to listen to the rumbling. He sighed in contentment when he felt Zim’s antenna brush gently against his cheek. 

“You’re still a cheater.”

“Insolent little human,” Zim spoke gently, petting at Dib’s messy hair. “A win is a win.”

Dib huffed, an argument on the tip of his tongue, interrupted only by the shattering of crockery in the kitchen. 

“Oopsie!” GIR called, not sounding sorry in the least.


End file.
